A man with friends and support workers

Our previous blog on this issue started ‘at the end’ or on tips to get clear on the purpose of paid support. We recommended this as a first step in successful recruitment. For starters, working out purpose can then really help to nail the characteristics you are looking for in people. Once you know the kind of people you are looking for, then it is far easier to figure out where to look for them. After that, you can think about the best methods to reach those people.

Put together, this is a 4 step process of WHAT (purpose) WHO (characteristics), WHERE and HOW (methods to recruit)

So in this piece we will focus on Characteristics. That is, being clear about WHO it is you are looking for.

Start by thinking about the importance to you of any, or all of these categories below.

What makes the person tick – personal qualities, values and vision

Many people say this is the most important thing to think through. This is about the kind of person you are looking for. It is always better when the person shares your vision. So what are your values and vision?

Skills & attributes

These are abilities that show the person can apply knowledge in a practical way to get something done. This could include work skills they have learned elsewhere that they can use in this job. These might be things such as leadership, communication, problem solving, initiative & enterprise, team work, planning & organising.

Technical and professional skills

What do you hope they come with?

Do professional skills and qualifications matter to the role?

What training do you want them to undertake?

Shared interests and hobbies

Depending on the purpose of the role, shared interest might be a definite pre-requisite. No point wanting to get involved in your local indie music scene, for example, and not seeking someone who is going to lap that up and know what to do and how to be in that context.

Even if the purpose of the role is not as specific as this, looking for commonality of interest makes life easier. Liking the people who support you is very important.

Click here to read how Carolyn Campbell-McLean creates her dream team.

 Matching purpose and characteristics in a (real life) example

Robbie is 27 and about to move into his own apartment in the city for the first time. The apartment is being rented from an extended family member who wanted to help by offering this opportunity. The vision is for Robbie to have a housemate. The apartment has lots of great qualities and some down sides. For example, while it is two bedroom it is quite small. Robbie and his immediate family decided that they couldn’t let the opportunity go, but they are worried about whether living with someone will be sustainable. This is also because while much of what support Robbie needs is known, a lot is also to be discovered. Robbie will have some additional paid support workers at different times, but the housemate role is really crucial.

Robbie is a conscientious man who likes to please people. He is a gentleman. He has an incredible memory for people, places, events and television shows. He also loves classical music, old movies, walking, trains and boats (especially old ones). He works, attends a day program and also volunteers. He can feel quite anxious at times, although he doesn’t want to be, and benefits from patience, empathy, people who see his potential beyond this and provide guidance in times when he is struggling to see past the anxiety.

Robbie’s support team decided to create a 6 month paid live-in role. The purpose of the role is to

• Help Robbie adjust and provide companionship – enjoying time together and looking out for each other
• Create an inviting home – joining with Robbie to create a pleasant, and comfortable home together, sharing meals, thinking about ensuring that Robbie’s day-to-day home life is prepared and planned for with tasks such as food and shopping and ensuring that the home is well cared for
• Provide mentoring in some areas of home life
• Build understanding of the longer term support structure – join with his family and support crew understand what kind of support Robbie needs and when across the week. In the longer term, when might a housemate have a role, when family and friends and when might paid support workers have a role?
• Building understanding of the future housemate role – join with his family and support crew understand what a longer term (subsidised) housemate role might look like. Contribute to answer this question: ‘how will it work best for a housemate and Robbie ongoing?’

What do you think are the values, qualities, skills and shared interests needed?

What kind of person would be good in this role? Try and visualise this person.

Now you can start to think about WHERE you might find such a person and what methods you might use to attract them (HOW).

Want to learn more? Click here to join our next online session on December 9th to learn successful recruitment strategies from people in the know!

Click here to hear what a participant has said about our sessions.

A young man talking with four other people

We recently held a workshop called Nurturing your Tribe. We were thrilled to find people with disabilities and their families attended with other people they had made an ask of; like becoming a housemate, or a friend whose strengths could help achieve something. We just loved playing a part in nurturing these vital relationships!

At one stage a young guy, Matt, stood up and spoke to us about being asked to become a housemate. He told us he’d known Chris at school and then after school they had continued to be connected in similar circles. Then he and his girlfriend were approached by another woman they knew, Jennifer, and asked if they were interested in considering moving out with Chris and sharing an apartment together. Both knew Jennifer- Chris was now employing her as his ‘lifestyle facilitator’ partly because she was so well connected.

Matt talked to us about the process of being asked and why he and his girlfriend said yes.

He told us that it was important to hear it from Jennifer because he knew she would be giving solid and trusted information – that it would be as she was saying.

He also gave insight into 3 essentials for a really powerful ask.

1. What’s in it for the person being asked

When you are making an ask consider what could be of benefit to the person being asked. Matt said it hit them at just the right time.Trying to move out into your first place in Sydney can be really hard. They were talking about moving out together but financially it was difficult. Chris’ offer involved financial assistance to make it work (in exchange for some roles and responsibilities with him). It was going to be a win for them.

2. What’s in it for the person

Matt told us that he had always been so impressed with Chris and could see what he had achieved so far in his life. He and his girlfriend were delighted to be asked to be part of helping Chris get further, of helping him take the next major step in his life. He said “we love being part of Chris’ story”. This is a big win for Chris.

3. What’s in it for a broader group or the community

Matt told us that he knew Chris had a wider support network, and could see how their contribution would help to strengthen this network and see the fruits of their efforts come to life. They wanted to be part of that network too and the bigger vision. This is a win for Chris’ parents, his brothers and his community.

So give it a go. Think of your ask in 3 parts. Imagine into all of them – don’t just think ‘what is in it for the person’ but also ‘what COULD be’. Check you have considered all of them. Let us know how you go.

Self Direction opens up an exciting array of possibilities and more than ever the opportunity to be the author of your own destiny.

But sometimes it can be hard to fathom just what is possible beyond our current experience. Being in charge is more than about having control over services, funding and supports. It’s about harnessing that control to break with the past, to get innovative, and to embark on new ways of doing things.

Download the word version of Getting creative with paid support

Download the PDF version of Getting Creative with paid support

The most successful websites we have used are Gumtree and Easyroommate.

However, before advertising, I think the first step is to craft and detail the role and the kind of person you are looking for.

Clear Expectations

Start by working out in very concrete terms the kinds of things you want a supportive housemate to do. Being very clear about this means people can decide fairly quickly whether it is for them or not. For example, ‘some live-in support’ is vague but ‘assisting Math make a meal 3 nights a week’ or ‘introducing Anna to her neighbours’ are tangible expectations.

Creating ‘The Ask’

Then you can start creating a clear role description. And also what kind of person are you looking for? A homebody? An extrovert? A young person?  A calming influence? A gardener? This then provides such great clues to where to begin looking. For example, where might you find people into gardening in your community?

We’ve always been wary of just saying ‘we need someone who has experience in the caring professions’ or ‘we need to look for special ed, therapy, OT students’. We have found people so willing to learn about Math’s individual needs, they really don’t need disability experience.

Then begin stating things as roles. For example, “We are looking for a gardener and homemaker. This involves (then you can start adding your specifics in here)…..”

A role helps people visualise what is being asked. It helps people connect their life experience with your ask. It helps move people away from the idea that they need specialist disability training or particular expertise. In this way you are ‘opening up your market’.

Promote the Benefits

This involves a kind of ‘marketing’ approach – why would someone choose this experience? For example, my family knows that we are offering an absolutely AMAZING rental subsidy for Sydney. Math lives close to public transport in one of the original houses in his suburb. He offers people an opportunity to save for their first home. He has a gorgeous manageable garden. There are well-defined private spaces in his home. He offers someone a chance to re-establish themselves.  For example, Math has lived with a guy from Austria studying his PhD. One of the things he was attracted to was a more family/people situation. He didn’t want to be isolated or just live in student accommodation.

This also helps to get out of burden-thinking mindset and into wonderful possibilities territory.

What is it worth?

Then look at it all and think “what is this worth?” There is no fixed rule on this. Think about the market rent. Think about what you are asking the supportive housemate to do and the time commitment. Would you offer a partial rental subsidy, a full subsidy, an allowance, help with the cost of utilities?

Your role description and your marketing ideas then combine to create a fantastic, inviting advert. Then you can think of all the avenues to send your information out so it reaches your target.

Some Safeguards

Thinking about how you shape and introduce the role is so vital. The key is to support the development of relationship naturally. It is very easy for such a role to become like a pseudo-support worker role.

Think about how you are going to create a sustainable living situation. These are things like space and time together and apart, coming to understand each other over time, paying attention to how a relationship develops and how the rhythms of life ebb and flow for people and how people get to feel like it is their home.

Yep we were trapped, as many families are, in burden-thinking.

Taking the leap into this unknown territory has been one of the most liberating things we have done and THE way that we are ridding ourselves of this kind of thinking.

His supportive housemates have provided support and companionship and so much more, in exchange for reduced rent.

We are searching at the moment for someone new and I realise we have much to share. The joys, the characters along the way and finding the methods that work.

This experience is becoming even more pertinent with small but exciting government changes now enabling people to apply for resources which help them move into their own home .

Shadowlands

My brother spent pretty much all of his childhood in group homes and hostels. This is a much bigger story to tell, suffice to say that it is a wounding experience he and my family still carry. Abused, languishing and lonely, there was not a single person present to celebrate his 18th birthday apart from us. Something had to change.

On reflection, the most important part of this early stage of change was just running with the pure belief even though we had no personal evidence or experience that it would work. We just held to the idea that other people had done it. Other leaders were telling us it could happen. I would walk around suburbs and stand in front of what I thought were beautiful homes (not necessarily the grandest) and just imagine Matthew in one of them. I put myself in the way of stories of amazing people like Shawntell Strully.

Matthew doesn’t speak and he needs help in every aspect of his life. And I mean every. An early experience of his vulnerability was going on a bushwalk with him. I was always adventurous with him and pushed him up over some rocks piled together. He got his leg jammed down one. I knew I had to leave him to go get help. As I was running home I realised that he would do nothing to help himself – he wouldn’t call out, he wouldn’t try and budge his leg. He’d just stay there until goodness knows what.

We really had little foundation to build upon. He had no friends without disabilities, no job, no other roles and we had no money to make things happen. In fact we had nothing that demonstrated such an inclusive approach would work for him.

Stretching into the light

When Math moved from the group home, he moved into a gorgeous little house in Eastwood, Sydney, we didn’t know anyone who could be his supportive housemate and we weren’t ready to advertise for strangers.

So in the early days my younger brother and I lived with Matthew ……

Big mistake!

My younger brother and I argued a lot and really really disliked each other’s habits. I remember vacuuming at about midnight one night just outside his room to annoy him and to demonstrate how important cleaning is goddammit! That was the end of that little experiment in sibling comraderie. But we also had great times. We so relished Math having his own home. We had parties and I’m proud to say that they were so much fun the police sometimes even got an invite!

Matthew’s first small business attempt happened here. We created a bulk organic food-buying group and his home was the base of the group. We would gather and distribute the food and eat and generally have fun together. I loved living with him because it was close to my university and close to friends from university and I just so loved seeing him thrive and develop so quickly. I was living with him the first time he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled! What a moment.

Light-bearers: Math’s supportive housemates

Eventually we had built enough opportunity for Math to meet people through our own networks.

One day my mum and I were chatting with a great friend of mine about looking for housemates. I remember it so vividly. My friend said that she and her partner were looking for a place to live and thought they would like to give it a go. Well my arm literally slipped off the kitchen-island and I almost fell flat on my face.

Bingo – we were making it happen. From pure belief.

But also here is another insight – nobody has nothing. We say we built from nothing. But we had ideas, belief, courage, and others beside us. With these resources extraordinary things are possible. In fact they come before the money. Money doesn’t bring these. Money can only assist these ideas take shape.

So these were Math’s first real housemates and we owe them such a debt of gratitude because their action made it real. And they proved that people without disabilities who aren’t family, can live with a person who doesn’t speak and who has many challenging attributes.

Julie and Math devoured sport together. Adey and Sheree bought their dogs – oh the joy that this brought. So much so that we market to people who have pets now because we know how hard it is to find a place with a pet. And Math LOVES them. Alex and Daniel and their daughter brought the experience of a young family. I remember him patting Alex’s pregnant belly. It’s incredible to me that he understood this entirely complex concept. Daniel also helped Math start his first micro-business.
Daniel discovered his passion in life while living there; cultivating and growing native orchids. He decided to sell them at markets. He invited Math to be his partner. Another jaw-dropping moment. We built a shade-house. Math learned to pot orchids with support. I didn’t think he had it in him to stay on task for something like this. Daniel would get up early and go to markets. Math came along later and would bring new supplies and help man the stall.

I remember supporting Math one day at a market. I set up a chair at the back of the stall-tent in the shade. Math refused to sit there. He walked round the front of his stall and sat in a chair right there! The customers just had to deal with his (strange-to-them) noises and movements. It is hard to shake burden-thinking.

Our new adventure at the moment is to create a different role for the supportive housemate. We’re experimenting with having them much more involved in Math’s day-to-day life and home-making. We want to create a firmer partnership between Math and his housemate, like the core unit. It’s a subtle but potentially life-changing shift again for him. At 41, like many of us, we’re looking to establish more permanency.

Our learnings

• The right person is out there. People without disabilities do want to live with a person with significant disability.
• It typically takes longer to find such a person.
• You need to spend time on crafting the role of the supportive housemate. What is it you are actually wanting them to do?
• Building networks and using networks is a strong foundation for finding the right person.
• But people can also come through advertising. We use Gumtree and Easyroommate. We gave up newspaper advertising long ago. Most people look online now for a house-sharing arrangement.
• We always state what the benefit is to the supportive housemate. This is asset-based thinking. Why is this a great deal for someone? Doing this is a great counter to the incessant creep of burden-thinking.
• We state upfront that Matthew has an intellectual disability. We craft the ad in first person even though he can’t speak or write. The reasons for NOT advertising disability are equally compelling. There is no right or wrong way.
• Spending time before committing, meeting and talking with potential housemates. We have a 3 step process that seems to have worked quite well. Each stage is designed for people to self-select in or out.
• Pay attention to relationship all the time. Pay attention to good communication. We have made many mistakes in this area. We have lost sight of the perspectives of housemates many times and faced the impact of this. It can be of benefit having a non-family member be the main communication line with the housemate.
• Trial periods are good. No commitment time-frame to see how things are on both sides and adjust things accordingly.